Getting married is one of the biggest steps you’ll take together, but before you do, it’s important to make sure you’re on the same page. These relationship-defining questions will help you dive deep into topics that matter most— from values to future goals— so you can walk down the aisle with confidence.
Whether it’s about finances, family, or the fun stuff, asking these questions can reveal insights that will strengthen your bond before saying, “I do.”
Category 1: Questions About Values and Beliefs
- What values do you think are most important in a marriage?
- How do you define love, and how do you express it?
- Do you believe in traditional gender roles in a relationship?
- What role does religion or spirituality play in your life?
- How do you feel about raising children with religious beliefs?
- What are your views on personal growth within a marriage?
- How do you handle stress, and what do you expect from me during those times?
- How do you define loyalty in a relationship?
- What are the non-negotiable aspects of your personal life?
- What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind for our family?
Category 2: Questions About Family and Kids
- How many kids would you like to have?
- How would you handle parenting differences between us?
- What kind of father do you aspire to be?
- How involved do you want to be in our children’s lives?
- What’s your view on discipline and setting boundaries for kids?
- How do you feel about spending holidays with family?
- How do you want to balance time between our families and starting our own traditions?
- How would you react if we couldn’t have children naturally?
- Do you believe in adoption or other methods to start a family?
- How do you feel about maintaining strong relationships with extended family?
Category 3: Questions About Finances
- What’s your philosophy on spending vs. saving?
- How do you think we should manage our finances as a couple?
- What’s your plan for retirement, and how do you want us to prepare for it?
- What’s your comfort level with debt, and how do you plan to handle it?
- Do you believe in keeping separate bank accounts or combining them?
- How much of our income do you think we should invest?
- What’s your attitude toward charitable giving and donations?
- How do you handle unexpected financial emergencies?
- How do you feel about making large purchases (house, car, etc.) together?
- What’s your ideal financial situation by the time we retire?
Category 4: Questions About Conflict and Communication
- How do you prefer to handle disagreements in a relationship?
- What’s your approach to resolving conflicts when we’re both upset?
- What’s your biggest pet peeve in a relationship?
- How do you react when someone criticizes you?
- What do you think is the best way to communicate effectively in a marriage?
- How can we make sure we both feel heard and understood?
- How do you feel about taking breaks during heated arguments?
- How do you usually apologize, and what does forgiveness look like to you?
- How do you think we should handle external stressors (work, family issues) in our relationship?
- How can we support each other when we’re both feeling overwhelmed?
Category 5: Questions About Future Goals and Plans
- Where do you see us living in the next 10 years?
- What are your career goals, and how do they fit into our future?
- How important is travel and exploring the world to you?
- What’s your ideal vision for retirement?
- How do you feel about the idea of relocating for work or family reasons?
- Do you plan on pursuing any further education or certifications?
- What’s your view on growing old together, and what do you look forward to most?
- How do you feel about supporting each other’s personal goals outside of marriage?
- What’s your dream lifestyle, and how do we make that happen together?
- What’s one thing you absolutely want to accomplish together in the next five years?
Category 6: Questions About Intimacy and Romance
- How do you define intimacy, both emotionally and physically?
- What’s one romantic gesture you think every marriage needs?
- How do you want to keep the romance alive after years of marriage?
- What’s your favorite way to show affection?
- How do you handle periods where one or both of us aren’t feeling very intimate?
- How can we prioritize our relationship even when life gets busy?
- What’s your idea of the perfect date night for us?
- How important is physical attraction in a long-term relationship for you?
- How can we stay emotionally connected, even during tough times?
- How do you feel about discussing our intimate lives openly with each other?
Category 7: Questions About Life Challenges and Tough Decisions
- How do you think we should face major life challenges as a couple?
- What’s your approach to making tough decisions that affect both of us?
- How do you feel about seeking counseling or external help if we need it?
- How do you react in situations where we have to make sacrifices?
- How do you handle major life transitions (job changes, moving, etc.)?
- How do you want us to support each other through career highs and lows?
- How do you feel about handling unexpected challenges (illness, job loss, etc.) together?
- How do you think we should balance work, family, and personal time?
- What’s your strategy for dealing with financial setbacks or hardships?
- How do you feel about making compromises for the sake of our future?
Category 8: Fun and Random Questions
- What’s your idea of the perfect weekend getaway?
- If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
- What’s your favorite memory from our relationship so far?
- If you could have dinner with any three people (dead or alive), who would they be?
- What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?
- What’s your favorite thing about being in a relationship with me?
- If you won the lottery tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d buy?
- What’s your biggest guilty pleasure?
- If you could go back in time and give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?
- What’s your idea of the perfect surprise?
Preparing For The Journey
Before marriage, it’s essential to have the tough talks, but it’s equally important to know how to keep the fun alive. Marriage isn’t just about making big decisions; it’s about building a life full of laughter, support, and shared experiences. Use these questions as a way to deepen your connection, not just to prepare for marriage, but to create a foundation that will carry you both through the ups and downs.
As you navigate through these discussions, remember to approach each other with openness and understanding. The goal isn’t to have all the answers right away but to explore what works for you as a couple.
